Son-in-law cancels family vacation after his parents took over planning and tried to exclude his in-laws: 'I wasn't going to exclude my wife's family to keep them happy.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 22, 2026 11:45 AM EDT

Why can't they just go with the flow and have fun on the vacation? 

It's incredibly logistically difficult to go on a large family vacation. There's a reason a lot of families don't travel with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and the works: it's so hard to get everyone to agree on everything. Grandma and grandpa probably have a harder time getting around than Uncle Steve, who wants to go on a river rapids adventure. Parents with young kids probably want to do different activities than parents with older kids. Everyone has a different idea of how much they want to pay and what they want to do. It's literally impossible to make everybody happy, which is why it's much easier to limit everything to a smaller group. 

The same principle applies to any kind of social gathering! It's the easiest thing in the world to plan to go to the movie theater with your best friend, but if you include your best friend's girlfriend, her two friends, their partners, and their partners' best friends, it starts to get complicated. Girls' trips and boys' trips exist for a reason! It's logistically easier to plan with your friend than with your friends and their partners. People might feel bad about being excluded, but you literally can't invite every friend to every social event, and that's good! Having more intimate gatherings lets you spend more one-on-one time with the people you value most.

Of course, it's understandable to want to try your hardest to include everyone in your good times, but that's not always possible. The couple in this story tried to best include both sets of parents in their vacation, but his parents just weren't having it. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • a young family on a beach vacation, enjoying each other's company while walking on the sand.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Models of a young family on a beach vacation, enjoying each other's company while walking on the sand.

  • Am I the bad guy for canceling a family vacation after my parents tried to take over planning and exclude my wife’s family?

    I (31M) am planning a trip to my home country with my wife (33F) and our three daughters. The main goal of the trip is to visit family, eat good food, and take a break
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • from work and our normal routine. A few weeks ago, during a video call with my mom and grandmother, I mentioned that I'd like to
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • take everyone to the beach while we were there. It wasn't a formal plan, just something I brought up in conversation.
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • A couple weeks later, my wife and I started looking at Airbnbs. We found a beachfront place in a quiet town that we both liked. I've spent a lot of time working in that
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • An idyllic beachfront property that would be perfect for a large family vacation
    via Deric

    An idyllic beachfront property that would be perfect for a large family vacation, if the family got along with each other. 

  • country before, so I'm familiar with the area and specifically wanted to avoid the huge tourist- heavy resort city nearby.
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • I sent the listing to my mom just to get her opinion. The next day, after a long day at work, I got home and my dad immediately started telling me that the
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • Airbnb I found was dangerous, that we weren't staying there, and that we were staying somewhere else instead. He had already talked to my brother about
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • booking a different property. This caught me completely off guard because my dad wasn't even part of the planning process. He's currently
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • staying in the US while the rest of the family is back home. I called my mom and brother to find out what was going on. They said
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • the place I picked was too far from a popular tourist attraction and that we'd like the other property better. They also said they wanted to pay for it as a gift.
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • I told them the issue wasn't money. What bothered me was that everyone seemed to be making decisions for my family without talking to me first.
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • Things got more complicated because my wife and I had also discussed inviting some of her family members. At that point, my mom and brother started saying
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • things like there wouldn't be enough room, transportation would be difficult, and sleeping arrangements would be uncomfortable.
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • After a longer discussion, it became pretty clear that they simply didn't want my wife's family involved.
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • My wife was hurt by this because she had been trying to include everyone. I was angry because it felt like the entire trip had stopped being about spending
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • time together and had turned into a power struggle. A few days later, my wife and I decided to compromise and stay at
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • the property my family preferred. We figured it wasn't worth fighting over. Then my brother messaged me saying the
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • price had gone up significantly and they didn't want to book it anymore. So we were back to square one.
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • We started looking at alternatives and mentioned that my wife's sister might be able to get a few days off from university and join us. The moment that came up,
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • the same objections started again. At that point I lost my temper and canceled the beach trip entirely.
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • I told my family I wasn't interested in spending my vacation trying to manage everyone's opinions and that I wasn't going to exclude my wife's family to keep them happy.
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • Things got worse afterward. My dad called me angry because my mom had apparently told him that we weren't speaking anymore.
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • During that conversation he accused me of causing unrelated family problems, including my brother dropping out of university, said I hated my brother (I don't), and
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • A man in bed
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A representation of the older brother who dropped out of college.

  • claimed that he had been planning this beach trip as a gift for us all along. From my perspective, the beach trip only became "his gift" after I asked my
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • mom what she thought about the Airbnb I had found. The argument eventually came down to this: my dad said my wife's family isn't his family, and I said
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • this was supposed to be my vacation with my wife and children, not something my parents got to control.
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • Now my parents think I'm ungrateful and overreacted. I think they crossed a line by taking over plans that weren't theirs to make and trying to dictate who could be
    via u/Ill-Working-551
  • included. AITA?
    via u/Ill-Working-551

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

price beach Airbnb in laws family grandmother money vacation
Scroll Down For The Next Article